LBF Article for 21st Century Pinups.

Waiting at Leeds train station for the 11.40am to Kings Cross and I’m getting a little nervous. I’ve finished my latte and I’m ready with my elbows to get to the luggage rack first with my massive suitcase crammed with burlesque un necessaries and my four by four foot portfolio case. The train pulls in and we all make a run for it. I’m in!

Luggage successfully stashed away and I’m in my seat. Now relax.

I even chat with the nice old lady sitting next to me about her holiday and the chip sandwich her and her husband are going to have when they get home to Peterborough.

‘Where are you off to?’ she questions. ‘London’ I smile.
‘Shopping?’
‘The London Burlesque Festival’
‘That’s nice’ she nods.

It’s so much warmer in London when I get out of the station - and me, a hardy northerner in my winter coat! I pass the Scala where the ‘Battle Royale’ is to take place while searching for my hotel ,and notice that tonight is sold out. I fall upon what I suspect is my Travelodge and wheel my trolley up to the counter, smiling, and attempt to check in. There is no reservation for Emma Hughes. I am in the wrong hotel. We all laugh; well I laugh - the woman on the desk stares back at me as if I’m trying to sell her a timeshare. I trundle off. Fifteen minutes later I’m checked into the right hotel, in the shower and gearing myself up for the evening ahead. On the way to Scala I bump into Miss Glory Pearl, struggling with her own suitcase and collapsible pole. And I thought I had a lot of luggage to deal with! Inside, I’m directed upstairs, checked in and given a wristband. The large third floor bar is already filled with burlesque performers doing their hair, photographers snapping and organizers organizing.
I grab my spot and begin to unpack, chatting to Miss Glory Pearl who has also made it up the stairs, and Miss Fever Dream who I discover are to open and close the show respectively. My group, the U.K Solo performers are going on first, and then we can relax and watch the rest of the show. I focus on that as I build my lamp stand with all the electricals taken out that doubles as a burlesque prop. It’s got a bit broken on the journey; pray it won’t topple over mid act and try and steady the base with some blu tac.
Our group is called and we make our way to the side stage dressing room to wait. I bump into Equador the Wizard, who I first met at the Varie Tease in Feb, and get my Wings of Isis a bit caught up in a rotary fan. The comperes, Mat Fraser and Lady Alex, do a fantastic job introducing the acts and keeping us calm in the dressing room. We are not able to see the other performers but the audience response is great, and soon there’s only me left. I hear Mat’s introduction:

‘It’s Friday and she’s in love – Jubilee Swoon!’

I’m on the stage. I’ve done this routine four or five times before and it feels as though it’s going OK. I can’t see past the cameras in the first few rows; I’ve one friend out there in the audience somewhere and I wonder how it’s looking to him.

I’m swooshing my Wings of Isis and tasseling and my pasties don’t fly off. Then I’m doing something X rated with a stuffed snail and I’m finished! My heart’s beating and my mouth is dry with the adrenaline, but it went well enough. Now I can change into civilian clothes, enjoy a lil’ drinky and watch the rest of the show.

The troupe section is fantastic. Looking over the balcony I can see just how rammed with people the audience is. I later heard that at its busiest there were a thousand people watching. The London Solos blows me away too, including Kiki Ka Boom, who later won the section. At around 1am, it’s time to announce the winners. A gaggle of us wait side stage while the names for our section are called. Miss Glory Pearl wins third place, Bella De Jac second. ‘What can that mean?’ the lovely Sean Mooney points out to me backstage.
Gulp.
Out I go, delighted to win first place in the U.K Solo Section. I later celebrate by smashing my face into a hotel lamp and giving myself a black eye - and I wasn’t even drunk. I don’t mind though and fall asleep with a silly smile on my face, happy to have been part of such a fabulous event…